Hercules Disclaimers


Season 1:

"As Darkness Falls"
No Centaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Pride Comes Before A Brawl"
No Hydras were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"The Warrior Princess"
No animals were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

"The Vanishing Dead"

No Dogs of War were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

"Unchained Heart"

No Vicious Beasts intent on taking over the world were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Season 2:

"The King Of Thieves"

No Subterranean Serpents were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

"All That Glitters"

No Stuffed Elephants were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

"What's in a Name?"

No Mandrakes were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

"The Siege at Naxos"

No Barbarians were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

"Outcast"

No Centaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

"The Mother of All Monsters"

The Mother of All Monsters was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.

"The Other Side"

Neither Phil nor Sal nor any of the other Piglet Bretheren were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

"The Fire Down Below"

No Completely-Engulfed-in-Flames-Evil-Dudes were harmed during
the production of this motion piture.
"Cast a Giant Shadow"
Neither Typhon nor Echidna was harmed during the production of this motion picture. They went on to lead long and happy lives with their adopted family. However, attempts to re-inflate Pylon were unsuccessful.
"Highway to Hades"
No Rabbits or Spirits Wandering the Earth were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"The Sword of Veracity"
No Attacking Minotaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Let the Games Begin"
The nuclear blast that destroyed the fiendish Mesomorphs was purely trick photography. The Mesomorphs are alive and well and living in Poughkeepsie.
"The Apple"
No extremely oversize clam shell wind-surfing apparatuses housing goddesses of love were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Promises"
No Hairy Sasquatch-like Mammals were Battered, Bruised, Burned or Beaten during the production of this motion picture.
"King for a Day"
No slightly soused kings-to-be who finally pull themselves up by the
bootstraps and realize the true meaning of leadership were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"The Protean Challenge"
No Slightly Discolored and Impish Gods who vaguely resemble and Candidate in the 1996 presidential elections were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"The Power"
No Manure was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Centaur Mentor Journey"
No Centaurs were harmed or discriminated against during the production of this motion picture.
"The Cave of Echoes"
No Vicious Tabby Cats were harmed during the produciton of this motion picture. However, the Pre-Hellenic Litter Box is in dire need of a change.

Season 3:

"Mercenary"
No Flesh-Eating Sandrays were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Doomsday"
No Silly Nutty was harmed during the production of this motion picture. Hwever, quite a few filberts and cashews sacrificed their lives in the name of progress.
"Love Takes a Holiday"
No Metal Panthers were tarnished during the production of this motion picture. When polishing your metal animals, remember to use salt and lemon.
"Mummy Dearest"
Any similarity between our Mummy and the foot-dragging classic we all know and love is purel intentional.
"Not Fade Away"
No Bootie-kicking, Chop-saking, She-Monsters from Tartarus were harmed during the production of this motion picture. If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the Temple.
"Monster Child In The Promised Land"
Out of respect for Baby Obie, no calamari was served to the cast and crew during the production of this motion picture.
"The Green-Eyed Monster"
No Goats were harmed during the production of this Cheese.
"Prince Hercules"
Iolaus was not harmed or permenently stained during the production of this motion picture. In fact, thanks to the miracle of sandblasting, his skin was restored to its original color and lustrous sheen.
"A Star to Guide Them"
No Unnamed Baby of key biblical and mythological importance was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"The Lady and the Dragon"
No Fire-breathing, Pre-pubescent, Slightly Sinister dragons were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Long Live the King"
No Stags were bagged during the production of this motion picture.
"Surprise"
Hercules' Party Pants were not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Encounter"
The Golden Hind was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. To order a Hind of you own call: 1-800-555-HIND.
"When A Man Loves A Woman"
Hercules' strength was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. In fact, Ares is storing it in a cryogenic freezer bag deep within the Olympian Meat Locker.
"Judgement Day"
No Family Values were harmed during the production of this Blood Lite motion picture.
"The Lost City"
No Hippy-dippy, Substance-abusing, 60's Reject Love Children were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Les Contemptibles"
The French accents depicted in this motion picture are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to actual accents, living or dead, is purely coincidential. Vive La revolition!
"The Reign Of Terror"
The Sheep's political and cultural independence was restored after the production of this motion picture. Run Free Ewe Wildebeast!
"The End of the Beginning"
Neither the Time Space Continuum nor any previous story lines were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"War Bride"
No Leather-clad, Pointy-breasted, Boufont-wearing, Pillow-smothering, Two-faced Sisters were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"A Rock and a Hard Place"
No Convicts were squished like a bug during the production of this motion picture.
"Atlantis"
WARNING: Crystal-waves were used during the production of this motion picture. Pregnant women should leave the room immediately.

Season 4:

"Beanstalks & Bad Eggs"
No permanent cases of Harpies were reported during the production of this motion picture.
"Hero's Heart"
A Fortune would have it, Iolaus' memory was not harmed during the
production of this motion picture.
"Regrets I've Had a Few"
Jaras' cause of death remained a mystery during the production of this motion picture.
"Web of Desire"
The original Website was severly harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, through the miracle of modern technology, it was reinvented several centuries later.
"Stranger in a Strange World"
No Heart-Throwing, Love-Sewing, Smooth-Talking Ares inpersonators were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Two Men and a Baby"
No Fire-Bealching, Levitating, Neo-Natal sons of a god was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Prodigal Sister"
The Amazon Hokey-Pokey was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. In fact, this catchy number is now being preformed in dance clubs around the country.
"...And Fancy Free"
The Widow Twanky, once again on top of the dance world with the success
of the Hercules Hustle, was not harmed or tripped during the production of this motion picture.
"If I Had a Hammer"
Hercules proved once again the true measure of a man is not the size of his grapes, but the size of his heart.
"Hercules on Trial"
Due to extensive DNA testing, Hercules was proven innocent during the production of this motion picture.
"Medea Culpa"
No Two-Headed, Fire-Breathing, Regenerating Gildred were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Men In Pink"
Cupcake's sweet tooth was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, her love life experienced a slight setback.
"Armageddon Now I"
Once again, Alcmene's fence was not finished during the production of this motion picture.
"Armageddon Now II"
Although Alcmene's barn was blown to smithereens, remarkably she and Iolaus were not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Yes, Virginia There Is A Hercules"
Any resemblance between the Hercules cast and the Renaissance staff is purely intentional.
"Porkules"
Hermes wings were clipped during the production of this motion picture.
"One Fowl Day"
No giant poultry was tripped, plucked, barbecued, deep-fried or otherwise assaulted during the production of this motion picture. Katherine's owners are orthodox vegetarians.
"My Fair Cupcake"
No bakeries were harmed during the production of this motion picture, although many pastries were burned to a crisp.
"War Wounds"
Any resemblance between King Iphicles, Hercules' half-brother, and Ares, God of War, Hercules' other half-brother, is totally unavoidable.
"Twilight"
Caution: Nafoline Cannons are highly flammable and may be hazardous to you health. Keep away from children.
"Top God"
No Boggie-Boarding, Beached-Blond, Narcissistic Gods were harmed during
the production of this motion picture.
"Reunions"
Zeus's Godhood was not harmed during the production of this motion picture, although his short stint as a mortal was somewhat intoxicating.

Season 5:

"Faith"
In order to protect the environment and for the benefit of all mankind, Imuru's beard was recycled and returned immediately upon completion of production of this motion picture.
"Descent"
No zombies were chomping at the bit during the production of this motion picture.
"Resurrection"
No Magic Munchkins preaching the virtues of ancient Celtic philosophy were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Genies and Grecians and Geeks, Oh My"
No cool blue bongs that resemble Aladdin's lamp were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Render Unto Caesar"
No Scribes intent on writing the truth and nothing but the truth were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Norse By Norsevest"
No ram, stag or any other horned species was sacrificed for Thor's helmet during the production of this motion picture.
We Swear it.
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow Bridge"
No Frost Giants were thawed during the production of this motion picture.
"Darkness Rising"
Iolaus nearly lost his head during the production of this motion picture.
"For Those of You Just Joining Us..."
Due to circumstances beyond our control, some staff members were ridiculed, targeted at and generally made fools of during the production of this motion picture.
"Let There Be Light"
No Cast-Iron Snakes were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Redemption"
Finally, the demon Dahak was destroyed during the production of this motion picture.
"Sky High"
Ephiny's leg was not hurt in the production of this motion picture. However,
the writers sincerely apologizeto Amazons everywhere for excluding her from the big finale.
"Stranger and Stranger"
Finally, the demon Dahak was destroyed during the production of this motion picture.If you would like to be a contestant on Wheel of Misfortune, simply send us a postcard and prepare to kiss your bottom goodbye.
"Just Passing Through"
Autolycus' intestinal tract was well lubricated and, consequently, was not harmed or blocked during the production of this motion picture.
"Greece is Burning"
Due to incredibly bad taste and a despicable dress code, the Fashion Police were locked up indefinitely immediately upon completion of filming this motion picture.
"We'll Always Have Cyprus"
The Oracle affectionately known as "Mrs. Potato Head" was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"The Academy"
Support the United Grecian College Fund. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, much like the vacation plans of certain Young Hercules cast members.
"Love on the Rocks"
No Fish Out of Water was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Once Upon a Future King"
Many Giant Steps were taken during the production of this motion picture. However, none for mankind.
"Fade Out"
No Gods or other deities were killed during the production of this motion picture. They just faded away.
"My Best Girl's Wedding"
No floundering fish were filleted during the production of this motion picture.
"Revelations"
Iolaus got a new lease on life during the production of this motion picture.

Season 6:

"Be Deviled"
Xerxos' goose was cooked during the production of this motion picture.
"Love, Amazon Style"
No Conniving, Mischievous, Over-the-Top Deities formerly and presently
known as Deimos were harmed in the production of this motion picture.
"Rebel With a Cause"
Creon's part was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"Darkness Visible"
No Blood Sucking, Homicidal Vampires were harmed during the production
of this motion picture.
"Hercules, Tramps & Thieves"
No Cat Burglars intent on framing their ex-husbands were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"City of the Dead"
No Pyramid Schemes were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
"A Wicked Good Time"
Discord was a Basket Case during the production of this motion picture.
"Full Circle"
No Ancient Greek Myths were seriously harmed during the production of this series, although some stories were slightly altered for the entertainment and
enjoyment of our audience.